411 on the LC
by Sim Spider
Summary: A different interpretation of Zack's POV on Logan when he first encounters Max. will be continued to cover all of season one. MLZ. WIP.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

A/n: a slightly different interpretation of Zack's view of Logan.

Just a drabble, to be continued if I get round to it.

This is set just after 411 on the DL, and is all from Zack's POV.

411 on the LC.

All my life I thought I was in love with Max. She was always my favourite; I convinced myself that I loved her to avoid any other emotional entanglements. Then when I met her again, all I felt was fraternity. She is so beautiful, but I'm not attracted to her. Come to think of it, I've never been attracted to anyone. When she refused to leave with me I thought that was it, I'd never see her again. I wondered for a long time just what it was that kept her there, in danger, why she wouldn't run.

When I was watching Max, before I made contact, I'd seen her go to the beautiful penthouse for dinner one night. I climbed up onto the roof of the building next door and used my enhanced eyesight to watch them.

I couldn't help but wonder what she was doing with a crippled ordinary. At first I thought maybe she made some extra money out of him. But the look in her eyes when he rolled into the room was the kind you can't fake. She cared about him. I studied him for long hours, staking out his apartment, trying to figure out what the whole emotion thing was about.

It didn't help.


	2. Cale Comfort

A/n: the first part wasn't terribly well received. Still, this is very different from my usual work so I should probably expect that. This chapter explains things a bit more, lets you know where I might be going with it.

Cale Comfort

When Brin was taken I had no choice but to contact Max. She was the only one I could reach to help me with my injuries. And she took me to meet him.

Logan Cale. And I began to see what drew her to him.

I've never seen a pair of eyes like that anywhere else. The deepest, most beautiful eyes I've ever beheld. The fascinating thing about them is that they actually change colour. From green to grey to crystal blue, shifting like the sea according to his moods. Undeniable intelligence sparkling in the depths, drive and passion overlaid with a calm strength, a detachment from the world around him. The small glasses he hides those eyes behind do nothing to diminish their power. The intensity of his gaze is so strong that it feels like he can see right through me, through the defences I've maintained so carefully for the last ten years.

His voice was the next thing I noticed. Calm, assured, with a note of wry ironic humour in his words. That voice made me want to obey his every word, the tone of command was stronger than any I'd heard since I left Manticore. Lydecker has a voice like that, as if there's no possibility of any disagreement. But Lydecker never had the unmistakable warmth, the compassion, the desire to help. The anxiety for our safety as he warned Max to be careful; like it was the most important thing in the world that she, and by association I, come back. No one ever cared that much for my welfare in my life before. I couldn't help but wonder who was this man? Why does he exude power when his physical condition makes him weak and vulnerable?

I tried so hard to deny how much he affected me. I lashed out, to get him to go away, but he just sat there, that slight twitch of his eyebrow the only indication I'd annoyed him. He's almost as good at hiding his emotions as I am, however well he evokes them in those around him.

I can't help but wonder what happened to him, how he became a cripple. I get the impression that he doesn't like to talk about it. There was frustration in his amazing eyes as we left that he could do no more than wait for our return, confined to his own personal prison like we were for the first ten years of our lives. And why does he need so much computer equipment in his apartment? The man is an enigma. Trust Max to find the most complicated, mysterious person in the city and tell him her deepest darkest secret.

I was reluctant to meet Logan without Max there. I'd have preferred to beat on Lydecker a little longer. The first time I was alone with him, I told Logan he was putting Max at risk by making her want to stay in Seattle. Partly to test him, partly because it's the truth.

Max can't leave Logan, however many times she denies she stays in Seattle because of him. I'm having a hard time leaving myself. The illusion of safety in his company is alluringly powerful, his unwavering presence comforting however serious the situation.

He clearly took my words to heart. If there's one thing he cares about above any other it's Max's safety. He said he didn't know what it was between them. It was obvious even to me that they shared some unbreakable bond, some link nothing could sever.

When Sanders caught us my first thought wasn't that Lydecker had betrayed us. It was that by letting Max be captured I'd let Logan down. And it felt so bad I'd have given anything to stop it happening again.

I find myself watching from across the street again as Max talks with him, her pain and guilt over Brin eased by whatever it is he has to say. I wish I could hear it, perhaps it would ease the same emotions in myself. From his lips I can believe any words, just because he's the one saying them.

I still wonder what he did to make her trust him with everything she knows. Was it just his personality, his charisma and determination, or something else, some earth shattering knowledge or event that made her certain he'd do anything in his ability to protect her. Ironic, really. The cripple protecting the supersoldier.

I need to get out of here for a while, try and stop my thoughts dwelling on Logan Cale. I'll go on the grand tour, visit all the others and break the news about Brin before I come back to check on Max. I don't see her going anywhere anytime soon. And while I'm gone, I know Logan will look out for her any way he can.

Let me know what you thought.


	3. Blah Blah Woof Woof: Part 1

A/n: I haven't actually decided if I'm going to make Zack gay or not. Then again, he's only about 22, so there's no reason he can't be confused.

I'm just trying to show the thoughts and feelings he hides under his soldierly exterior. What if, like Max before she meets Logan, what's going on in Zack's head is completely different from what he says to other people?

Blah Blah, Woof Woof: Part 1

Logan Cale must die.

It has to be done. I've thought about it and considered it since I left and I have no choice. He knows too much. He's putting Max in danger by tying her to Seattle. He's a liability. I can't let emotions cloud my judgement like she has. I have to do what's best for her, for all of them.

So, I'm crouching on the roof of a building across the street, sniper rifle in hand, waiting for a clear shot. I focus in and there he is, writing in a notebook in his living room. He's totally oblivious to all else, brow furrowed as his pen skitters across the paper like it has a life of its own. He won't feel a thing.

I take careful aim on his temple and find I can't make my finger tighten on the trigger. All I can hear is his compelling voice, "just make sure it's not what gets you killed." The warmth, the intensity, the sincerity. The whole idea that our lives were more important than the mission. The way his eyes shifted from greeny grey to warm summer sky blue.

No! I can't do this! I can't be weak! Emotions are weakness, I'm the leader, I have to be strong for my troops. I have to make the tough decisions they can't. Just do it, Zack, you have to do it, for Max. He'll get her killed and you know that, you have to remove the threat, like you did with Vogelsang. Don't feel, just act.

I force myself to look back at him and find he's stopped writing. He's sitting bolt upright, clutching at his back with one hand, eyes closed, face contorted in pain. After several clearly agonising seconds he slumps in his chair, gasping for breath. What can be wrong with him? Now I come to think of it, he's a little paler than I remember, and the light is glinting off a few beads of sweat on his brow.

Despite myself, I can't help but feel the sting of concern. I came here to kill him, and I can't do it because he's already hurt? How did he affect me like this? I've only met him a couple of times, there's no way I should be this worried about him.

He puts his book away and dry swallows a couple of pills from the table in front of him. Hastily he shoves them into the drawer as Max strides in. He's hiding his illness from her, whatever it is. That makes me suspect it's serious. After all if I were sick I'd hide it from Max, try and stop her worrying.

I watch as he tries to pretend he's fine, act normally, be strong for Max's sake. He makes her dinner and they eat together, chatting easily over the food. I wonder why she doesn't look into the depths of his eyes, see the pain there, the grey where there should be sparkling blue. But she only lets herself more than glance at him when he's not looking. She doesn't want him to see the blatant tenderness in her eyes, the admiration and something more, an emotion I can't quite put my finger on.

They move across to a small table after a while, facing each other across a chessboard. Max wins every game easily and then gets up to leave. Her face is alive and inviting as she asks him something, but his closes down even further into his defensive mask. The flicker of hurt and anger at his reply is clear on her features before she covers it by erecting her own perimeter defence and stalking out.

As she leaves, he is overcome by another wave of pain. He pushed her away so she wouldn't see him like this. If he can endure his illness alone to protect her he can face any torture Manticore can devise.

And I know I can't do it. I've pinpointed the emotion in Max's dark eyes. I've never experienced it myself, but I have seen it before, in Tinga's, when she looks at her husband and son.

Love.

Tell me if it's good, bad, or indifferent.


End file.
